Sunday, May 23, 2010

About fears..

Sometimes, accepting that you cannot handle a situation is more of a grown-up thing to do, than getting into it and being "grown-up" about it.
When in doubt, growing up is a better state of being than being grown up.
I don't know how long I will take to grow up with some aspects of my mind. But I think I have been a grown up about a lot of things since I was a kid. :)

Sometimes, when you are really angry, you can hear a voice inside that say,
"Calm down. This is not you. This is your jealousy talking". Initially I used to feel really mad at that voice. The basic question being, "How can I be jealous?".
Or sometimes when you get slapped in the face (figuratively), you mope about it as if the whole world is being unfair. Then this voice says, "I hope you know it, this is not you, this is your ego".

I know that I don't like swimming in the sea. It has been my problem since I was a little baby. I used to get moody on the beach and then start sobbing. I took swimming lessons. I love swimming in lakes and ponds. Or even a finite waterfall. I still can't handle the ocean. I have rationalized it so many times.
Maybe it is the vastness. The limitlessness that makes you feel insignificant.
Maybe it is the uncertainty.
You know you are not going to drown.
Why can't you just assume it is a vast lake and it ends on the other side of the horizon!
Nothing works.

Then I accept that some things just cannot be rationalized.
Growing up is not really doing everything without fear. It is knowing your fears better and better every day. :)


Raj said...

Acceptance is the most "grown-up" thing you can do. Look at children. They rarely accept when something goes wrong and so do many adults :)

Rationalising may not help. It's not your logical brain that is having the problem.

Len said...

Rationalizing does not help at all. But thanks for this blog post, I've just had the same insight and that's a great feeling!

Abhijit Bhave said...


Hermione said...

Hi Saee,
I liked the way you write. Have been reading your blog from some days..
To identify times when you are jealous or when your ego is hurt rather than world being unfair is surely a "grown-up" thing to do.
And I haven't come across many people who can do it and accept this fact.
People acquire gray hair faster than they can acquire wisdom that age should actually give them.. :-)

Your writing surely reflects you have acquired wisdom with each passing day..

Keep writing !

Saee said...

@Raj Yup..well said. :)
@Len, youre welcome!!
@Abhijit =) =)
@Hermione, Thanks for all the praise. Keep visiting.

I have been lazy at replying to comments. Sorry!

Anonymous said...

Hey Saee! Well written and expressively put - I could not agree with you more!