Furious and Funny! ;)

My best friend happens to belong to the “perpetually furious” class.
Everyday I spend at least five minutes asking her to calm down and take a deep breath. Whether it is the inconvenience caused by shoddy public transport in the city, rickshaw walahs taking her for a ride, the scheduled load shedding by the eternally unwell electricity board or even someone making her best friend upset; they all invoke the same amount of anger in her.

Sometimes when a person walks into a room, you kind of sense the dominating character in them. Some women take your breath away with their beauty. Some people have an inbuilt confidence about everything. Some of them walk with an enviable pride. Some are inherently funny. There are little things that remind us of all these qualities. When she enters a room, the room is dominated by Anger, not just regular anger, but anger caused as a result of severe injustice and surprisingly she is always at the receiving end of some kind of inexcusable injustice!

She could do well as a Female Chauvinist (if the male chauvinists have devised such a word). She would be able to handle at least a dozen dowry-seeking men at a time and make them feel like a collected heap of garbage.
There are times when the cell phone network that both of us subscribe to jams and we are unable to send and receive text messages. At such times, even as she knows that they won’t reach me right away she keeps texting really angry messages, which are liberally seasoned with all the four lettered words in English language. When she exhausts herself using English, she gently steers to Marathi, Hindi and even Hinglish.
The next morning as I get up my cell phone is suffering from an acute indigestion of messages. The cell phone company has had it’s decongestant and I am introduced to a fresh new day with messages like “ #@% Tel people are bloody !@#holes.F***ing Idiots. We’ll get our numbers changed now”

She is a true Leo. She goes out of her way to help people assuming them rather innocently to be just like her. Sometimes, she doesn’t get back what she gives which turns her into this fuming volcano. So when she is handling such blatant betrayals, my phone rings seven times in a day and I only get to say three to four words during a 45 minute long phone call. Those three to four words are “yes” said four times to a the same question “I am right, don’t you think so?”

When we are driving to someplace and I am on the wheel, she keeps instructing me about how to make it more difficult for ruthless drivers. When someone tries sneaking in on a turn she insists that I intimidate him by going on and breaking suddenly. Due to the inherent lack of guts in me (and an obvious concern for my car), I always let all the people get in the way and go ahead of me. I don’t really believe in making it first everywhere, because I usually leave ahead of time and I am in no hurry to reach anywhere. I am also not very fond of getting down from the car in great style, and fighting it out with the guy who was wrong. I genuinely think fighting is a waste of time but she will lecture me till another guy sneaks in and then throw her hands up in despair and use one of her very favorite swear words. When she is in the passenger’s seat, my heart sinks out of diffidence and I keep making more and more mistakes, making her all the more furious. I ignore the red light, or I forget to change the gear bringing our vehicle to a dead stop in the middle of the road. On which first she will look at me exasperated; and then maybe reading the expression on my face, burst into peals of laughter.

She makes me ask for my money back from people who conveniently forget that I had lent it to them. When I am low and in a phase where I want her to say, “ Oh poor you! You have been through a lot! I know how it feels, its just bad luck honey!”
She comes swooping into my room like a paper plane and says, “ Get up!! Lets go celebrate one trouble less!!”
She genuinely misses me when I am unavailable on the phone and leaves messages that make me smile even when I am in the middle of a catastrophe. She will lecture me on my poor eating habits or laugh out loud when I turn paranoid about something and ask her really stupid questions.
She is the superlative of descriptions. If you have a choice between watching a movie and getting it narrated by her, I think you would save more time actually going and watching it (Driving to and fro included with interval and pre and post window shopping). She will give you the details of every shot, including her cheeky comments about the probability of the rumors about a fling between the leading pair to be true. If you yawn or look out of the window during such recitations, you will be snapped back to reality by her ferocious threats.
She is etched into my brain. She is a part of my conscious and subconscious dreams and even my nightmares. For I know, at the end of a Life full of Bad Karma, the furious Devil over the hell fire would definitely remind me of her! :P

I have been supremely idiotic at times. I have landed myself into troubles that can only be laughed at but she has always stood by me furious as ever and willing to war with anyone. Sometimes it is funny, sometimes rather touching to have someone with you who believes in you even when you don’t. Someone who is so consistent with her angry opinions that even in the moments of extreme despair they make you laugh out loud. Someone who makes you believe that you are the winner in every sense even when you think of yourself as a big loser. Someone who urges you to dream when you have even given up on watching movies..and all of this not in a Saintly Godly way, but by calling you an idiot or a demented moron, by making you feel like you are crying over something that actually needs to be celebrated.
Who stands up for you with an authority that even you don’t have on yourself. She will always be the intimidating, furious and eternally funny part of my Life!