Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Dream Talk

I always knew that I do not snore in my sleep. :)
That was one certainty that gave me a sense of self-knowledge. I mean, women never accept that they snore even when they know they do. My mom never did until the time when my dad recorded her snoring one Sunday afternoon and gave her a tea-time present. Even then she denied it by saying that it was bad recording and what she heard was "the air" around the tape recorder.
We must have lived in a torpedo prone area back then!
However I was blissfully unaware of a latent talent that I possess - Sleeptalking.
I do not know what is the Greek-Latin name for that disorder but I positively have it. It explains all the times when I used to wake up suddenly in the middle of the night thinking I heard someone laugh. My flatmate Shruti brought it to my kind attention a few days back. I did not believe her the first time but then one day she told me that I was talking about inverting some NMR tubes and wobbing up again. Then it seems I went on to consider frying the NMR tubes before using cherry tomatoes. All of this reminded me of a vaguely similar situation that I was in not long ago before I woke up. I had to accept that she could not have invented such a geeky situation all by herself ( although she is no short of a finance geek).
I think she should have just had a silent laugh and not told me about it for since then, I have not slept peacefully even a single day and what is even worse, when I actually did even for half an hour I ended up talking! It seems I talk to the entire post-grad room in my sleep. I have detailed conversations about weather and politics mixed with a lot of cooking!
Sometimes I laugh in my sleep and when she tells me that I did in the morning, I spend an awful amount of time wondering what was the joke that I heard in my dream.
It has changed my attitude towards wakefulness dramatically. While I am awake, I am so conscious of my thoughts now for the fear of talking about them at night that I have almost turned into a saint. I do not think evil thoughts for the fear of sounding evil in my sleep.
When I am in the middle of a dream soap sequence where I am the vamp who is about to send a stinger across the room, I shake myself awake to avoid talking about it.
We all have a really mean person inside. Someone who is good company when you know that your association is clandestine. Like when someone gets married and sends you their pictures and as you are admiring the colorful ladies all lined up beside the bride in their finery, the mean woman in you goes " Hmmph! The bride looks awfully fat!". You and the mean woman inside have your own wicked laugh!
Or when in your empty moments at your desk ( which are not essentially empty but are specially "vacated" because you are lazy) you dream about making it really big as a Chef or a Talk Show Host, which is completely out of sync from the job that your are currently busy procrastinating.
What if all of that is made public? What if everyone gets to know about the mean woman, the aspiring chef ( and dry cleaner) and the Grammy,the Oscar and the Pulitzer all in the same year?
So this sudden realization has turned off the day-dream mode that my mind used to run on. Now it is just real life, that too de-caffeinated , without the judgments.
Needless to say that I am under the influence of a perpetual jet-lag now. I take long coffee breaks and doze off at my desk when they leave me alone. At night I try and keep myself aware and try and wake up even at the hint of a dream sequence specially designed my the happy side of my Ego.
It is stressful. I hope we get a new house soon. Something that lets me babble without having to face it the next morning!! :D

6 comments:

sameer said...

haha...hello my babbling barbie girl haha;)...sweets u r taking this issue very seriously and r being very critical abt it..its just an illusioned mind phase which is triggered in any individual when ders some kinda pressure to prove urself or an important task ur workin on...actually the worst part is dat ur so involved in ur phD work up dat ur really not donating time to all d out-of-ur-field things...to add to all this u've turned too conscious abt ur thinkin process...well this is bad news for ur fans like me...let urself loose ya..so finally my advice for u
-dont think too much abt ur project,once out of college premises.
-accept ur dream talking with fun n grace.if possible make fun of ur own self
-i insisted 4 u going to australia 2 live an uninhibited life,so dat u get 2 explore life to d maximum n grow as an individual.getting conscious abt ur thinking will subconsciously inhibit the real u..which is gonna dissappoint me big time.
-lastly think abt ur luved ones and spend positive time wid urself at the end of the day.
ohhh again my comment just got big...i'm sorry to be the most babbling commenter on purplemoon.
anyways saee just change ur angle of perception,n u shall b u,again k??? luv ya:)

sameer said...

n i believe its best to acept dat we r naturally mean in every way as i had mentioned in my earlier comment..every 1 has an inside voice dat u described as the mean u...and every1 has to make peace wid dis inner voice to move forward in the rght direction.now it depends on individuals wheter to consider dat inner voice as partial agonist or antagonist 2 ur higher thinking centres.HEY i think i just discovered the definition of being RIGHT.
"ITS A PERCEPTION OF AN INDIVIDUAL, ABT ONE'S OWN DOINGS, WHEN IN PEACE WITH INNER SELF"
yey i hope i havent copied any1 hehe ;)
i think a few more lines and u shall start babbling my lines haha..i end here tata :)

शिरीष said...

Sai I must congratulate you as you you have made Dr.Sameer into Doctor of Philosophy.

He has carried out indepth analysis of your post. I can only agree with him. Please take this matter in a lighter vein otherwise you may think hundred times before writing a post which will be detrimental to our (all your fans) health.
Sai even if you determine you canot overcome this as you have been 'sleeeptalking'right from your childhood.(Has your mother left snoring even after her snores were taped?}
Thank God Sai you are only sleep talker I have seen in my school sleep talkers were also sleep walkers!

Raj said...

:-) I had heard about sleepwalkers, but not sleeptalkers. I think you are taking it too seriously. There is a mean side to each and every one of us, the only exceptions being Hindi movie characters. Its quite natural.
There is also an interesting aspect to it. Is the talk related to your dreams or is it unrelated? If it's unrelated then it would mean that the brain is having dreams on two different levels, visual and speech, which is a fantastic idea if it were true :p
Most importantly, don't be afraid to dream because of this. Reminds me of a quote by Marie Curie, "Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood."
Sweet Dreams :)

Saee said...

@ Sam
Whoa!! God..you should start writing yourself. :D
Yeah..surprisingly when I wrote this post yesterday, I could sleep very nicely. :D
@Baba
I have been sleeptalking since childhood!!!??? Why didnt you tell me that!!??
@Raj
Yeah I am not going to stop dreaming. :D I cant. :D
And I am really glad i dont walk in my sleep. :)

Endevourme said...

i used to do that as a kid hehe n if ppl ask me anything i wud answer too...
i think u need not worry about being right...our 'superego' is very powrful Da, it wont reveal anything, even while sleeping!
cheers :D!!